thats me today. i just want to scream and curse and cry!
i can't pin point exactly one thing that has me feeling this way. just every single thing just seems soo overwhelming today. i am sitting here trying to work on my reports for my 3pm meeting and am having the most difficult time concentrating. i am not done. i have no bizness on the Internet, yet here i am.
FI has been in New Orleans all week and frankly i am pissed. he just seems to be having sooo much fun. living life like its golden. working during the day and socializing. then at nite he hits the town with friends and goes and eats awesome dinners and hits hot spots.
he's having so much hot d@mn fun.
and i'm sitting here tired. frustrated. lonely. stressed. broke. commuting. and just flat out overwhelmed with the number of things i need to get done.
and i'm getting anxious about moving to his city after the wedding. the economy is slowly tanking. places aren't hiring. what on earth if i can't find a job?
i am completely willing to take just short of anything so that i can bring home a check.....but what if there isn't anything to go around?
if i can't find something, i've got to do something. do i take a spot at a coffee shop? do i waitress? what do i do about additional schooling and training in another field? what the heck do i want to be when i "grow up"??? i no longer know...and i've been grown for far too long to still be wondering this. i just am quite sure that i no longer want to be a budget analyst. i no longer want to deal with procurement. i no longer want anything to do with inventory. (all elements of my current job)
i feel as if my exterior is glued together but inside of me i am slowly crumbling....i just want to cry.
Computer Sickness
2 hours ago
4 comments:
Oh I'm soo sorry you are feeling like this. I've been there and I can honestly say it all gets better. Getting married is hard enough but with our economy the way it is just gives us all another headache we all don't need. As far as the stress about moving, it will be hard but at the end of the day it will be worth it. Just hand in there a little longer and you'll finally get to the light. And if you need to cry, cry. Sometimes you just need to let it out and you'll feel better!
Hang in there. You're under a lot of stress right now... and it's OK to feel the way you do. I agree with Linda... if you need to have a good cry... do it.
You're obviously an intelligent woman... and I'm sure you will have no trouble finding a job after you're married. Look at the move as a fresh start... in every area of your life. It's not the end. It's the BEGINNING... of bigger and BETTER things!
And for now... take some time for yourself. How about going to a movie with one of your best girlfriends, or buy a new lipstick, or a $4.00 flower bouquet and your favorite magazine? Just do something nice for yourself that will make you smile. :)
Oh... and tell LR he better get you a praline and send it to you while he's in New Orleans. Those things are to die for! hehe
You need a hug! It's only going to be for a few more months and then you & him will be together again. I know it's hard right now, but just think that it's only temporary.
HANG IN THERE!
I'm so sorry you're feeling this way. I completely understand how stressed you are and how difficult things get. But please don't stress yourself out more by worrying too much about the future. Right now, you have a job and you're doing great. You can cross the bridge of what to do when you come to it. (And we'll be here to listen and support if you decide to continue blogging as a newly-wed!)
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